A Reflective Essay on the relevance of interpersonal communication skills in an average Nigerian’s personal and professional life
This essay seeks to reflect upon the writer’s communication skills and experiences using instances from his personal and professional life. In the course of the reflection, the essay will examine the role of communication in human relations, effects of communication skills, barriers to communication as well as possible solutions to improve communication skills.
Communication is the livewire of all human relationships. It is an essential tool for managing human and material resources with the overarching objective of achieving stipulated goals (Ekene, 2015, p. 71). It enhances the learning and transfer of information from one person (sender) to another (receiver). To many people, communication seems so easy. After all, it is all about passing information across to those we come in contact with. Of course, I cannot agree less. However, in the course of my personal and work experience, I have arrived at the understanding that communication does not end in speech making and its priority is not centred only on the sender. Rather, effective communication compels the attention of both the sender and receiver and ensures that both parties understand each other’s messages clearly.
My ability to engage and interact with friends and colleagues effortlessly is based on the fact that I know what I want, and how to articulate and present them in very simple and understanding ways. This is called – Communication Skills. They are one’s ability to clearly express his or her ideas to other people either at work places, Church, Mosque, relaxation centre, among others (Indeed, 2021). In addition, communication skills are the attributes required for achieving objectives that include intrapersonal and interpersonal abilities (Al-Alawneh et al., 2019, p. 1). Examples of communication skills include: speaking, active listening, observing, confidence, volume/clarity, understanding non-verbal cues, responsiveness and empathizing. Overall, these skills inform effective communication.
Communication plays a very tremendous role in the course of my personal and professional relationships. Some of the roles or functions of communication are as follows.
Trust.
Effective communication helps one build trust with other people in the society. However, the absence of trust and transparency in peoples’ relationships whether personal or professional, creates bad reputation and also poor working condition (Jouany & Martic, 2022). Personally, dealing with people who are not trustworthy makes me scared and so anxious of my safety. And the only way through which I am able to detect such people is through communication. Also, interpersonal communication skills are very essential tools for fostering rust and transparency in one’s dealings.
Personal relationships.
Communication helps me build healthy relationships with my friends and colleagues. People with good interpersonal communication skills are always sociable and productive (Onah, 2003). This is because they are able to communicate their worries, ideas and plans freely. And in return, they get feedbacks which when put to good use, often yields great result. Overall, communication facilitates personal relationships.
Quality management and effective leadership.
Effective interpersonal communication helps leaders to control, coordinate and manage the affairs of those they lead. In the business environment, effective communication helps both the employees and employer to get abreast with organisational rules, responsibilities and obligations. It also helps to solve mistakes, calm tension and foster mutual work relationships and comfort among the staff of business organisations
Professional development.
Through communication, employees like me are able to learn and develop themselves professionally. At my workplace, I am always attentive especially during trainings and work seminars. Through this way, I am motivated and also able to learn and practice new skills.
Conflict Resolution.
According to Jouany & Martic, (2022), conflict is inevitable in the workplace, and whenever it occurs, interpersonal communication remains the only way to resolve it. Furthermore, the authors noted that conflict resolution/management cannot take place without effective interpersonal communication. This goes further to explain that communication determines the fate of a peaceful or violent society.
It has been observed that listening and talking are very important styles of communication that most people in the society today do not pay active attention to. As such, a lot of relationships today are strained. Even as simple as listening may seem, the truth remains that it is hard work because every quality communication begins with it and without it, there is nothing to talk about (Thisera & Weerasinghe, 2014, p. 34). According to Dupuis (2021), there are four listening styles. These are:
Conceptual listening
As a conceptual listener, I am very interested in listening to people and working with them so as to come up with quality results. In this listening style, all ideas are acknowledged and treated with respect. Also, I am an assertive communicator who freely makes his opinion known by all and also advocate for his rights without stepping on the toes of others. In the end, all parties involved in the conversation feel respected, are happy and committed to put in more effort towards what was discussed.
Connective listening
Dupuis noted that connective listening focuses on what a conversation means for the people involved. In other words, in this type of listening, a listener concentrates on how other people pay attention and react to a conversation without regard to how they are being impacted by the information being shared. Connective listeners are also passive talkers. They often feel anxious and end up confused because they ignore their own feelings.
Reflective listening
This style of listening deals with the processing of information internally without other peoples’ input. A reflective listener relies on his or her own sense of judgment with little or no regard for advice. At times, they can be very aggressive and intimidating in talking. Quite often, I find myself in this category too especially as I become authoritative on issues concerning many people. The greatest effect of this listening and talking style is that it leaves people confused and humiliated at the end of the conversation.
Analytical listening
This gives listeners the opportunity to treat issues with facts and accuracy. Active listeners are wise enough to take note of factual information and apply them to the situation at hand. However, they do not pay attention to the viewpoints of others involved in the conversation. Again, active listeners have a combined passive-aggressive talking style. While they appear cooperative in the surface, they express their annoyance subtly. Such attitude often results in misunderstandings and arguments. While I can be very analytical in listening, I also pay attention to peoples’ views.
Regardless of the significant contributions of effective communication to human relationships, it is overshadowed by a myriad of barriers which often results in poor communication. Some of these barriers/limitations include:
Inactive listening.
Thisera & Weerasinghe (2014, p. 36) argue that poor communication occurs when people begin to raise mental criticisms of what the speaker is saying instead of paying rapt attention. Also, there are people who are fond of interrupting the speaker during conversations at their work places. This often leads to great misunderstanding and conflicts between them and their colleagues/employer.
Communication becomes poor when it lacks clarity and is ambiguous (Kapur, 2020). This happens a lot in the work place; homes and every other place people are not elaborate and concise in their communication. And as a result of this, those who receive the information end up doing the opposite of what was being said.
When there is no regular feedback of what is being communicated, there is bound to be miscalculations and confusion between employers and their employees. And in such situations, there may be lack of improvement and progress in the management of a business.
Poor communication also occurs as a result of lack of empathy. I have worked in an establishment where the employer cared less of how the job affected my emotional wellbeing. And as a result of that, our work relationship became unclear, and we lost personal contact because there was no feedback since he refused to pay attention to my concerns.
The solutions to these communication barriers include:
Active listening. People should learn to give their full attention and audience to the speaker during a conversation (Onah, 2005). In situations where the receiver is lost, he or she should ask questions and seek clarity when needed (kratz & Kratz, 2005). That way, they will understand what is being said and also respond adequately.
Communication often involves two or more people. As such, there is need for both senders and receivers to air their opinions and listen attentively to each other during conversations. Feedback is necessary during communication.
The use of clear, simple and direct language during conversations helps reduce misunderstandings.
The ability of communicators to comprehend the feelings, emotions and perspectives of others during communication will result in a clear interpretation of their thoughts and concerns.
In conclusion, peace and violence in our society is consequent upon our pattern of communication. Effective communication is a skill that can be learned by everyone and the faster we do the better for our personal and professional lives.
Reference List
Al-Alawneh, M., K., Hawamleh, M., S., Al-Jamal, D., A., H., & Sasa, G., S. (2019). Communication Skills in Practice. International Journal of Learning, Teaching and Educational Research 18(6), 1-19.
Dupuis, D. (2021). What Are The Four Listening Styles? https://www.td.org/atd-blog/what-are-the-four-listening-styles.
Ekene, C. (2015). Communication as a Veritable Tool for Effective Human Resource Management in Organisation. Review of Public Administration and Management 4(8), 63-75.
Indeed (2021). Communication Skills: Definitions and Examples. https://in.deed.com/career-advice/resumes-cover-letters/communication-skills.
Jouany, V. & Martic, K. (2022). Interpersonal Communication: Definition, Importance and Must-Have Skills. https://haillo.com/blog/interpersonal-communication-definition-importance-and-must-have-skills/
Kapur, R. (2020). The Types of Communication. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/344235361_The_Types_of_Communication.
Kratz, D. & Kratz, A. (2005). Effective Listening Skills. New York: McGraw-Hill Publishing.
Onah, F. (2003). Human Resource Management. Enugu: Fulladu Publishing Company.
Onah, R., C. (2005). Public Administration. Nigeria: Great AP Express Publishers Limited.
Thisera, T., J., R. & Weerasinghe, T., D. (2014). Keys to Effective Listening and Presenting: An Action Plan. Kelaniya Journal of Human Resource Management 9(1), 33-48.
